e s s a y s r e c o r d l i v e i n t e r c o l u m n s A-D E-J K-N O-S T-Z
H o m e
w r i t i n g b a n d a u t h o r a u d i o l i n k c o n t a c t a b o u t
Celeb Head


learn



Record
  • Young Antiques -12.04
  • Silent Kids -12.04
  • Terminal Band -12.04
  • Almost Contagious -12.04
  • ROBBERS -12.03
    Essay
  • The Better Half -12.17

  • To receive a friendly email update each time we post a new article, enter your email addy below.

    questions or concerns.


    [ Heavy Vegetable ]


    Heavy Vegetable

    It's like the most wonderful thing listening to Heavy Vegetable's music. It's like being at the circus and having cotton candy and a head-sized, newly won stuffed tarantula in one hand, holding on to your lovers hand with the other and standing in the center of the bumper car rink.

    And as your mind races through all of the escape scenarios, you can't help but hum "Johnny Pig." Your brain tries real hard to not think about the stupid song and concentrate on the task at hand, but damnit the song is just too good.

    So as you are standing there, you and your lover, you start humming "Johnny Pig" or "Jackie Chan is a Punk Rocker." Immediately, your lover, annoyed at the fact that you are humming that song, slaps you with his or her free hand (whether you can hum or not is irrelevant you still get slappped). You stumble backwards, loosing grip of your head- sized, newly won stuffed tarantula and your $.75 stick of pink cotton candy. Gravity seizes control of your whole being and you begin tumbling towards the shiny, tire stained concrete floor of the bumpercar rink.

    Still, a Heavy Vegetable song plays innocently in your brain.

    Bam!!

    You finally reach your horizontal destination. Your lover, still attached, lands forcibly on your chest and face. The hand, which formerly held the spool of a dollar sugar fabric and the stuffed spider, lies, attached to the fully extended arm, waiting the inevitable pain of rubber on skin from the bumper car's bumper and tire.

    Ok, so you know what happens next. Your hand gets run over. You scream in your lover's ear. The 42-year-old bumpercar attendant flicks the switch. 32 future indy drivers start crying. Your prize and candy have been thoroughly flattened. And you lie there with your lover on top humming "Cotton Swab."

    Yes, in deed, Heavy Vegetable writes the catchiest songs around. They are fun. They are intelligent. They are worth every cent you have to pay for one of their records. The music is well written and their playing ability is out of this world. They are from Encinitas, CA.

    Rob Crow, guitar and vocal, is the most underrated unknown song writer on the planet.
    Ele'a Tenuta adds the most unusual and beautiful harmonies.
    Travis Nelson's bass lines are creative appropriate and socool.
    Manolo Turner's Drum parts are so perfect.

    Forget about it. Heavy Vegetable was wonderful. Wait, WAS??, yep they are done. But Rob and Ele'a have a new band called Thingy and if you re-read the above circus tale and substitute Heavy Vegetable and the song titles with Thingy and some song titles. The story remains the same.

    Heavy Vegetable wrote two records:

    The Amazing Undersea
    Adventures of Aqua Kitty
    and Friends

    Frisbie

    Written By: Geoff T.